we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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