The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
