If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Randomize
