ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We had sex on a dog bed..
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
