its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
