Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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