ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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