coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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