Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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