Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
