i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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