Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
