biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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