Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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