his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
