Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
