I feel like abortions should bother me more
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
