I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
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