I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize