is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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