I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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