Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
