If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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