Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
