Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
