my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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