I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
