sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
