Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
