I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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