he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
