You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
