i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
