I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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