apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
