So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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