i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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