He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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