Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
