I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
