i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize