Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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