Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
