First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Green mimosas i think yes
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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