Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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