based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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