So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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