would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
