Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize