your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
