Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
