It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
