Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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