Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
do nipples grow back?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
