This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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