Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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