You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
