some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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