is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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