I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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