Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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