Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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